Woe #38: As an {almost} bride, my heart is constantly full and my emotions overflow.

For Trevor's sake, I'm admitting this on the Internet:
I am addicted to Facebook.
{Aren't we all? Like really, I know you're admitting it to yourself right now.}
When my Facebook friends are uninteresting, I log onto Trev's.
Since I don't really know anybody on Trevor's newsfeed {minus a couple of people here and there}, it's interesting for me to read about what his friends, family, and acquaintances are up to.
I ask him questions about friends, because I want to know who they are and how he knows them.
Let's just say that since my fiance is a well-liked guy, he has a wide variety of friends.
It's funny when we run into people that I only know through Facebook, because I think, "Hey, I know you."
{Of course I don't really know the person, but it makes me feel more comfortable with them.}
{I know, I sound like a freaking crazy person.} 

Last week, a post from one of Trev's friends caught my attention: "Please pray for my family."
My stomach twisted a little bit.
This friend doesn't know me, but I know about her.
I know that she and her siblings were Trev's step-siblings, through Michelle's second marriage.
I know that her mom once fought cancer, and was in the clear.
And I know that when people post "Please pray *insert person, thing, etc. here*", they need an extra boost.
I read this post on Wednesday.

Thursday, as I was scanning through Trev's newsfeed again, I saw that the mom of these siblings had posted her own status.

And the news was not happy: she has brain cancer, and she wanted to know how you say goodbye.

I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sadness take over my heart as I read it. 

I called Trev on my way home from class, and asked him if he had read through his Facebook.

He hadn't, but said that he would before he left for work.

When I got home, his heart was hurting too. 

Her cancer is Leptomeningeal Carcinomatosis, which is very rare and fast spreading. It's spread all through her brain and spine. No treatment will help.

Her time is limited.
But she is so strong, and going forward in good faith. 
I'm not kidding you, I've never seen a family at least on Facebook, handle something so well.
Hers and her kids' Facebook posts for the past week have been tugging at my heartstrings. 
They're trying to make the most out of an awful situation.

 

Woe #38: As an {almost} bride, my heart is constantly full and my emotions overflow.

I mean, I cry over the dumbest things sometimes.

For example, there's a song on the movie Rock of Ages called "More Thank Words/Heaven."

It's cheesy with a capital "C", but I get emotional every time that key change comes around because my own personal heaven is already here. 

My heart is consistently full of gratitude, full of love, full of appreciation for the littlest things.
When I watched the people of Boston celebrating, singing the Star Spangled Banner in the streets after the bomber was arrested, I got teary-eyed.
So, granted, I cry a lot and things touch my heart.

I don't even know this woman. I can't even say that I know her kids. I've met two of them once, and that was at Aubrey's wedding last May. 

All I know about them is what Trevor and his family have told me, and what I have learned from their positive posts about life on Facebook.
I can't explain why I have cried for them on three different occasions.
I can't explain why I'm getting emotional right now as I type this post.
I want to take their burden away.
No one should lose their mom.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and my emotions are close to the surface.
I care about other people, people that I don't even know.
I don't like watching people suffer.
I hate goodbyes, especially goodbyes that are permanent.
I'm selfish; I don't know what I would do without my own mom. My dad. My two obnoxious siblings.
I hurt sometimes thinking about Trev's dad and how he's not here to watch his own kids grow up.
I would be lost without Trevor.
I don't understand Heavenly Father sometimes, and why He tests us so much.
Someone once told me, "He doesn't give you anything you can't handle."
Everything works out in the end, I know that it does.
I watched my friend Jake lose his mom right before sophomore year to a car crash.
I watched my cousins and my family lose a husband, father, son-in law, and uncle to a car crash.
I've lost grandparents, I've lost friends, I've watched as others lose their loved ones to all sorts of circumstances.
Cancer. Suicide. Heart attacks. Car crashes. Freak accidents. Simply passing away.
Death is all a part of the greater picture.
I know, thanks to my religion, that life and family are everlasting.
But watching people suffer and go through such hard trials gets to me.

I'm praying for this family.
I'm praying for the world.
I'm praying for all the hate and destruction that has occurred over the past couple of months will subside.

And I'm blaming all of my emotionalness on being an {almost} bride.