Woe #22: Both of us growing up Mormon causes some big conflicts.

I'm sure some of you read the title of this blog post and almost shit your pants.
I'm not denouncing my religion.
I'm not denouncing my fiance's religion.
We may not be the most active couple, but there is truth in the church.
There is power in the priesthood.
There are answers in prayer.
The church does some awesome things.
I've given 15 talks since I was 8 years old.
I have had multiple callings.
My favorite time of year was girls' camp.
Listening to General Conference are my favorite April & October activities.
And I have a slight obsession with German accents because of President Uchtdorf.

Now, let me explain.

Woe #22: Both of us growing up Mormon causes some big conflicts.

I encountered my first comment today about us not getting married in the temple.

For those of you non-LDS folk out there, let me explain. From the days of the Old Testament, the Lord has commanded His people to build temples-sacred structures where He could teach, guide, and bless them. When the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored in the early 1800s, the Lord again commanded His people to build temples. The earliest temples of the restored Church were built in Ohio, Illinois, and eventually in Utah. Today, the Church has 140 operating temples around the world.

San Diego, California temple

Salt Lake City, Utah temple

Laie, Hawaii temple

 There are sacred ordinances done in the temple, ones that are secret and not so secret. For example, as a youth I did baptisms for the dead. Another example would be to receive your endowments. And yet another temple ordinance is the sealing ordinance, in which husbands and wives are sealed to each other and children are sealed to their parents in eternal families.

That last ordinance, the sealing ordinance? Unlike most of our LDS friends who have gotten married, Trev and I are not doing that. As reported by Mormon Newsroom: "Members of the Church believe that marriages performed in temples are “sealed,” or blessed to last for eternity. The concept that the family unit can continue beyond the grave as a conscious, loving entity, with the marriage partnership and parent-child relationships intact, is a core belief of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Once a couple is married and sealed in a temple, any children who are then born to them are automatically sealed to them at birth."

(This is the paragraph of the article that applies to Trev and I the most.) "According to research cited in a 2000 article in the Los Angeles Times, “In an era of divorce, Mormon temple weddings are built to last,” with only a 6 percent divorce rate. Another study, published in 1993 in Demography Magazine, concluded that members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who marry in one of the Church's temples are the least likely of all Americans to divorce."

The comment I received today went a little like this:
*Individual: "So! I saw you were having your reception at Highland Gardens. You're getting married in the Timpanogas temple?"
*Me: "Oh, no, we're actually not going through the temple. Our ceremony and reception will be there."
*Individual: *moment of silence* "Natasha, you know that the first year is going to be harder then, right?"
*Me: "All marriages are hard within the first year."
*Individual: "Yeah, but it's going to be even harder for you because you're not going through the temple and receiving those blessings to help your marriage along."
*Me: *biting my tongue* "Well, my fiance and I don't feel prepared enough for the temple and it is a decision we are comfortable with."
*Individual: "I hope you guys don't get divorced before you get sealed in the temple, because as a married person I've seen the blessings of the temple in my marriage. . . " (etc. etc. etc. he/she just kept right on talking and shoving their opinion down my throat.)

I have never felt so angry, spiteful, and hateful towards an individual and towards the "Utah Mormons." Our decision to not get married in the temple is our decision. The fact that we are being judged by certain individuals within our church (when we are taught repeatedly to love everyone and be friendly and non-judgmental) makes me ill.We should be loved and supported for our decision, not criticized.

Another issue with both of us growing up Mormon? We both have either a bishop or stake president that we want to marry us. How do we decide? Both are phenomenal men, who have had equally influential on our lives.

Rants and decisions. That's what my Wednesday consists of.